I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
