Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
