Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize