JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
