Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
