he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
