Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
