Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We had sex on a dog bed..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
