things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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