Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
