morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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