Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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