My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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