I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
