I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
