the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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