i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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