singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
