i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
