i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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