I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize