I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
