you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What a dumb baby whore.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
