I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
