What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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