My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Still dying that you shit outside
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize