I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
