I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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