with your own penis?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
