She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
