WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
