32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
