Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
