it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
