Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
