my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
