wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
