I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i think i just lost a toe
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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