the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
