absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
