she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
