quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
