So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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