i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
