Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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