She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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