goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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