if i can run in heels then i can drive
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
