Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
