In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's rum buckets o'clock
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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