So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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