Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
