she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
