god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
