I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why are your pants in the freezer?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
