Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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