I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
