i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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