Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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