Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
