Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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