nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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